June Cleaver and the NNAT, Part 2

In my last NNAT post, I said that today’s NNAT parents have a thing or two to learn from June Cleaver. Here’s what I meant by that:

Yes, “Leave it to Beaver” was just a TV show, but it was representative of an era when, as so often happened to Beaver, a child who got in trouble would face his parents for reprimand and correction. But the beauty of the show is that neither parent was portrayed as omnipotent.  On the contrary, the series often showed the parents debating their sometimes-divergent approaches to child rearing, and, in many cases, confronting their own mistakes. These were not perfect parents and, as a result, parents everywhere enjoyed watching Ward and June wrestle with what it meant to be a “good” parent.

For instance, in one episode, June exclaimed, “Wally, don’t they teach you any manners at school?” to which he replied, “You know, that’s funny, Mom. At school they’re always saying, ‘don’t they ever teach you any manners at home?’”

Admittedly, we NNAT parents are no longer living in a “Leave it to Beaver” world. To the contrary, parents today are raising their children in a society engulfed by a 24-hour news cycle, endless gossip about celebrities of questionable talent, and a Twitter stream that never shuts up!

The most important message for NNAT parents like you and me is this: UNPLUG!  And, I don’t mean completely unplug from the world and join a cult or go live in a cave or lock your family away from societal influences. What I mean is, the next time you feel like you “don’t have the right answer,” whether related to the NNAT or not, don’t compare yourself to some celebrity mother who always seems like she has her act together. Instead, ask yourself: what would June Cleaver do? And my guess is that she would ask for help. And that’s something that NNAT parents like you and me need to be willing to do as well.

What June Cleaver Can Teach Us About the NNAT Test

Like many NNAT parents, I watch the evening news to get myself caught up on all the things I missed during the week. Watching the broadcast a few weeks ago, I found myself shocked to learn that one of the top “news stories” was that “the Kardashians slid off the road in their SUV today.”  I’m sorry, but when did a single family’s lack of driving prowess become newsworthy? Why aren’t they telling us what we’re doing to combat ISIS or that we’ve found a vaccine for Ebola or why classroom overcrowding could soon become a thing of the past – something, anything, that matters or that’s life-changing for all of us.  Kim’s inability to keep it on the road does not concern me.

As a parent dealing with tough issues – like whether my child will make the cut on the NNAT test – I’m increasingly disgusted with our celebrity-crazed society and long for the bygone days when news and gossip were two decidedly distinct things …  when Dear Abby served as our “voice of reason” and June Cleaver epitomized, by most standards of that era, “Mother of the Year.”

The state of today’s media caused me to nostalgically ponder June’s idealized suburban family life of the mid-20th century, when it seemed like women everywhere lived a uniformly picture-perfect existence.  Life was so much easier; June’s only real worries were which Jell-O mold she should use, which cut of meat to prepare and what she might find in the Beave’s pockets!

Yes, I know, we NNAT parents live in a very different world today. But truth be told, parents still deal with most of the same issues that they wrestled with back then – even if they’re “packaged” a bit differently.

I have some thoughts on how NNAT moms and dads could stand to take a page from June Cleaver’s book. I’ll share more on that in the days ahead …

 

NYC Scores Strike Fear in NNAT Parents

Parents like you whose children are preparing for the NNAT test are parents who strive to provide the best for their children. And last week something happened that confirms how a single test can change your child’s lifelong trajectory.

What happened last week, you ask? Simple: NYC Gifted and Talented scores came out. As you know, Testing Mom caters to parents all over the country and indeed all over the world, so chances are you aren’t among the parents in NYC wringing their hands over their child’s recently-released score. But my hunch is that no matter where you live, you’ll be able to relate to what these parents are going through just by the fact that you are a parent who cares about your child’s educational well-being.

Indeed, if you’re preparing your child for the NNAT test the specter of waiting by the phone, as it were, for your child’s test scores to come through, is something both uniquely familiar and uniquely terrifying.

Of course, today many parents across NYC are feeling gratitude that their child scored in the 99th percentile, qualifying them for a seat in a citywide G&T program. To those parents, I say, “Congrats and good job!”

On the other side of the fence, I can tell you from experience that there are countless frantic, disheartened and upset parents who were shocked at their children’s low test scores. Without fail, once the scores come out there are two types of parent: those who are elated and those who are crushed.

The best way to avoid falling on the wrong side of this equation is to make sure that your child is well-prepared for the NNAT weeks if not months in advance of test day. I can tell you from experience that the parents whose children get crushingly low scores are those who failed to prepare.

 

 

NNAT Parents and Crises of Confidence

It can be hard for an NNAT parent to keep their head up. Preparing for a rigorous gifted test can be trying even on a good day – and the journey is inevitably frought with setbacks, crises of confidence, and a sense that we’re just not doing it right! This is made worse by the world we live in.

 

Specifically, it seems like “oversharing” has become the norm. I mean, do you really want to know that Bruce Jenner is transforming into a woman, or that Kanye is “dissing” yet another entertainer or that Justin Bieber has another monkey (for the record, he doesn’t … as of today, at least).  Why, I ask, would we even WANT to know this useless information?

 

This is also true of other parents who are preparing their child for the NNAT test. They regale us with all of their child’s successes – how they aced the practice test, are cruising toward a seat in their program of choice, how test prep doesn’t even make them break a sweat.

 

Well, fellow NNAT traveler, don’t let them get you down. Think about how many celebrities are presented to us as effortlessly wonderful parents, raising their kids while seeming not to lift a finger. You can’t check out at the grocery store without catching a glimpse of Mila Kunis, Gwyneth Paltrow, or Ryan Gosling looking like they’ve been provided with the “Secret Manual of Perfect Parenting,” reserved for only those who share every amazingly glorious and perfect detail of their lives with the masses.

 

It’s the same for every other NNAT parent you encounter. Their bravado masks a creeping insecurity, a need to hear that their child is as “great” and “wonderful” as they think they are. Just keep your own child on the straight and narrow – spend as much time preparing for the NNAT as you can, while also giving them down time to enjoy life – and you’ll see them blossom in no time.

The NNAT and the Journey of Parenting

The NNAT test tries even the most patient parent. It’s easy to say that you’re going to give up when the going gets tough and you think that your child isn’t going to make the cut.

I heard from a parent who had an inspiring story. They said that their child scored low on the NNAT test and they were worried that they would never make it into a gifted or other advanced program. This parent was devastated, and worried that their child wouldn’t be able to improve and retake the test the following year. But after some hand-wringing and self-doubt, they decided to do everything in their power to make sure that their child had every advantage available to them.

They worked with their child day in and day out for a year, ensuring that they were prepared the next time the NNAT came around. The following year, the child nailed it, scoring in one of the highest percentile ranges and making it into a top-flight program.

I commended them not only for making sure their child was ready for the test, but also for making a decision that will endure. By showing their child that they had what it takes for the NNAT, this parent also showed their child that they would do whatever it took for them to succeed in school and in life – and that the child had the ability to live up to those standards.

In other words, this parent set their child on a path to lifelong success – and not just by getting them ready for the NNAT test. Like so many other things, good parenting is a journey with no end – a lifelong commitment. Every success is not merely reason to celebrate, but also a call to look for new opportunities that will give your child the chance to succeed and, ultimately, reach their full potential in school and in life.

 

Reduce Stress by Making NNAT Prep Fun

Lots of parents worry that their child will choke when it finally comes time to take the NNAT test. They worry that in the high-pressure, time-limited environment of a test, their child won’t be able to finish all the questions. Or, worse yet, that they’ll get nervous and freeze up, becoming mentally paralyzed when it matters most.

These parents worry that their child’s homework won’t adequately prepare them for the NNAT test. After all, the test isn’t like the traditional year-end test that’s basically a review of what the child learned during the year.

Will their child’s homework be of any use when it matters the most? Will they encounter materials on the test that they’ve never seen before?

These are legitimate concerns, and they’re why it’s so important to get your child practicing for the NNAT test as soon as you can. There are a number of ways to do this, and you don’t want to get into the mindset of using a set method for too long. Start with games and other lighthearted, interactive materials: online practice, board games, manipulatives like blocks. Then work your way up to the more “traditional” test prep workbooks and worksheets. Your child likely already has a lot of homework – so don’t pile on more “schoolwork” when they might already be feeling overwhelmed.

The good thing about the NNAT is that it’s possible to prepare for it. Despite the parents who say that your child either has it or they don’t, this is not true. There are lots of kids with test-taking anxiety, attention problems, or any other number of issues that make it hard for them to excel on standardized tests like the NNAT even though they’re plenty smart. These kids just need an extra push, and they need for practice to be fun.

 

Is the NNAT Teaching to the Test?

Lots of parents facing the NNAT have the same concern: teachers are increasingly being forced to “teach to the test.”

This usually refers to the assertion that teachers, especially in public school, increasingly have to tailor their curriculum to year-end standards tests that measure how much kids have learned during the school year. But it applies in equal measure to tests like the NNAT, which, like it or not, often determine whether children will make it into the most elite private schools and Gifted programs.

I’ve found that parents who complain about educators “teaching to the test” usually have a few pressing concerns. First and foremost, a low score on a test like this suggests that their child isn’t as smart or well-studied as they may have thought. Second, a low score can mean that their child won’t make it into the school of their dreams. Obviously, this is a very confronting reality for a parent who thought their child was well above average in terms of intelligence and achievement.

Well, here’s my take: one thing I’ve learned as a parent is that you can kick and scream all you want, but eventually you have to accept things the way they are. Regardless of what you think of standardized testing in general, or the NNAT in particular, it’s an integral reality of today’s educational system. So you essentially have two choices: you can bemoan the system and tilt at windmills hoping for change, or you can buckle down and get your child ready for the NNAT test that they’ll need to pass to make it into the school they deserve. The choice is yours.

Don’t run away from educational challenges: instead, make sure your child is equipped to face them and win. Part of that means preparing them for the NNAT test regardless of your personal opinion on its merit.

 

Why Use Online Games to Prepare for the NNAT

Many parents think that preparing for the NNAT is limited to using workbooks and other “traditional” test prep materials. These parents typically worry that these materials will burn their child out or bore them with the process of preparing for the exam.

Of course, workbooks and pen-and-paper materials can provide great preparation for the NNAT. It’s a good idea to have your child work with these materials at least some of the time, especially since the test is often given in a pen-and-paper format so these books provide good practice for the process of actually taking the test.

That said, it’s important to use other, more fun materials to prepare your child for the test. The test prep process can be quite lengthy, and you don’t want your child to get bored or frustrated with the work that’s involved. With that in mind, here are some fun materials you can use to prepare your child while also keeping it light and engaged:

Online games: Believe it or not, there are lots of interactive online games out there that will help your child get ready for the test while feeling like they’re having fun! Many sites have games specifically designed for the NNAT, while others have more general games that nevertheless help your child build the skills they’ll need to do well on the test. Keep in mind there are mobile apps that do the same thing, so be sure to check for those as well.

Board games: Find a board game that builds the skills your child needs to do well on the NNAT. These games will get your child ready for the test in a way that brings the whole family together!

Do-it-yourself puzzles and activities: Build the skills your child needs for the NNAT test using items you find at home, or make your own! This adds an element of creativity into what can be an exhausting process.

There are so many ways to get your child ready for the NNAT test that it’s a waste to limit yourself to workbooks. Make the process fun – while preparing your child for success on the exam!

How to Get Your Child to Ace the NNAT

I often hear from parents whose children have taken the NNAT test. These typically consist of 2 types of parents: those whose kids aced the test, who want to share their wisdom, and those whose children fell short, who want to know what they did wrong. In the spirit of helping those whose children still haven’t taken the exam, I wanted to share what I think are the most important things to do when preparing your child for the NNAT test:

 

Start early: The process is competitive, so it’s important to start preparing your child as soon as you know they’ll take the test (or earlier, if possible). Ideally you’ll want to give your child at least 6 months to get a running start so they can ace the test.

 

Develop a plan: Determine when you’ll work with your child, and the materials you’re going to use. If possible, plan out the hours of each day that you’ll work with your child on preparing for the NNAT. Keep in mind that the test can take a while, so you’ll need to get your child’s attention span up to snuff. This is another reason that starting early is important: you can start with 5- or 10-minute prep sessions, then work your way up to a half-hour or 45 minutes.

 

Work with a variety of materials: Don’t just work with a single 100-question workbook. The problem is that, within a week of getting started, your child will have memorized not only the questions but the order in which they appear. They might get “better” at answering the questions, but in reality they’ll just be robotically spouting the answers in exactly the order they’ve seen them before. Be sure to use online materials  so your child doesn’t get burned out.

 

Of course, there are so many other factors that go into what kind of a score your child will bring home on the NNAT test. The most important thing is your dedication and that you make sure your child knows you’re with them 100%.

 

The NNAT and Embarrassment

We’re here to talk about the NNAT, but let’s talk about parenting in general for a moment. As a parent, one of your biggest concerns – whether you realize it or not – is that your child will embarrass you. Parental embarrassment takes many forms: a tantrum in the grocery line, repeating gossip that was supposed to be kept a secret, or acting up on a long trans-Atlantic flight.

But one thing that likely embarrasses you without your even realizing it is when your child doesn’t perform well academically. If your child has ever brought home a quiz with a C+ or even a B circled in red ink at the top of the page, you’ve likely cringed and had to fight off the urge to crumble up the paper and shove it into the nearest trash can.

And no doubt part of your motivation to sufficiently prepare your child for the NNAT is that you want to be able to brag to your friends that you have an exceptionally smart little one. After all, if your child makes the cut on the NNAT, they’ll have a shot at making it into a prestigious Gifted and Talented program or private school!

If you’re realizing this is true, and feeling ashamed – don’t! Being embarrassed when your child doesn’t live up to your expectations is perfectly normal. It’s just part of being a parent in today’s hyper-competitive world: we’re constantly bombarded with other parents’ boasts about how great their children are. Every time you turn around, it seems like you’re hearing about someone else’s darling child, whether it’s that they were admitted to a prestigious private school, became head of the soccer team, or are “an Honor Roll student,” as the ubiquitous bumper sticker never fails to remind us.

And don’t worry, there are plenty of ways to cope with parental embarrassment.

So put your anxiety to good use: get your child ready for the NNAT test! It’s the best way to make sure you’re able to brag to your friends, and not the other way around!